Lametones de Amor

Una llamada a la incorrección en agradables tonos pastel

Pope gone to heaven

Bienvenidos sean lectores a este remanso de paz rosa y amarillo. Nos preguntábamos esta tarde acompañados del vermú si, hastiados como estamos ya de Papa Muerto, era necesario un articulo más sobre el tema Papa Cadáver. Y claro, en tal estado aceituno-etílico nos dijimos “¡qué diablos! si a nuestro lectores ya les gusta esto”. Además, mucho nos tememos que la mayoria de ustedes son almas perdidas, descreidos, ateos y comunistas que, en definitiva, muy poco conocen de las liturgias que acontecerán a lo largo de estos dias de luto mundial. Por eso hemos creido necesario informarles algo más a cerca del NecroShow Vaticano que se nos viene encima.
Que alguien emprenda el largo viaje final es algo con mayor o menor repercusión mediática en función del dinero, el poder o la fama que atesore dicho individuo. Pero en el caso de la muerte de un Papa el hecho trasciende más allá (je je) de lo que se considera meramente un acto oficial para convertirse en un espectáculo a nivel mundial que perpetua tradiciónes macabras, ritos ostentosos y ceremoniales totalmente anacrónicos.
Ya saben a lo que nos referimos, Amorosos. ¿Cuanto hacía que no veían una momia fotografiada en la portada de sus peródicos favoritos? Y no, no vale que nos menten a Fraga o algún otro lovepollable. La momificación es algo totalmente demodé; algo que ha quedado apartado para líderes comunistas y para folclóricas españolas. Por lo menos en el caso de Wojtyla se han modernizado los ancestrales métodos de evisceración que se habían practicado hasta hace sólo un par de papas y se han sustituido por unos litrillos de formaldehido en vena. Este cambio de procedimiento se debe a que la tradición dicta que cualquier fiel que lo desee puede acercare a besar los pies del pontífice decesado; cosa que no había originado problema alguno hasta que Pio XII les quedó tan mal embalsamado que el hedor provocaba desmayos hasta en la aguerrida guardia suiza.
Con respecto a lo de las vísceras, esta nueva costumbre de cambiar los humores corporales por disolvente orgánico ha traido un problemilla, y es que los compatriotas de Karol quieren que se le arranque el corazón para enterrarlo en la capital de su Polonia natal. Como en Leyendas de Pasión, manda huevos lo que se flipan los polacos.
También es cuanto menos curioso el método para certificar la muerte del pontífice: llamarlo tres (3) veces por su nombre de pila mientras se le dan sendos golpecitos en la frente con un martillito, eso sí, de plata y marfil. Muy hermoso, como si no estuviese bastante puteado el (supuesto) muerto. Si el Papa no responde, el camarlengo, cual Frodo Bolsón de blanco atuendo, debe coger el anillo de poder papal y destruirlo por fundición en una llama sagrada.
A nosotros, lo que más nos inquieta el traslado a través de la Plaza de San Pedro con el cadaver a cuestas sobre una bandeja. Ahí al aire libre, sin resguardo alguno, expuesto a un resbalón desafortunado… ¿Y si llueve? Imaginen que le cae un rayito o una colilla bien dirigida y el formaldehido hace gala de su bajo punto de ignición. Se convertiría en una parodia muy bonita de un entierro vikingo: del Vaticano al Valhalla con el milagro de la autocombustión. O que se cagase una paloma o algún otro pajarillo, como un buitre leonado o una gaviota; ¡qué infortunio sería!
Pero bueno, de momento ha llegado sano y salvo a la Capilla Ardiente, todavía tienen de tiempo hasta el viernes para pasarse por ella. Después los restos de Juan Pablo II descansarán en un magnífico féretro con tres (3) capas reservado sólo a los capitostes de la Iglesia. La primera, de ciprés, árbol sacro. La segunda, de olmo, árbol noble. La tercera, de plomo por la humildad, la perdurabilidad del espíritu y para evitar que la humedad y el tiempo cuarteen la madera. Un lujazo, oigan

Despedida y homenaje
Ains, ahora nos hemos emocionado. Si es que… no se puede ser bueno, leñes. Como excepción y homenaje, vamos a dedicarle una canción a Wojtylla; pero no una tonterida de esas que solemos poner, sino una bonita de verdad.

“Monkey Gone To Heaven”

Está dormidoThere was a guy,
an under water guy who controlled the sea.
Got killed by ten million pounds of sludge
from New York and New Jersey.

This monkey’s gone to heaven

The creature in the sky
got sucked in a hole,
now there’s a hole in the sky
and the ground’s not cold
and if the ground’s not cold
everything is gonna burn
we’ll all take turns
I’ll get mine, too.

This monkey’s gone to heaven

Rock me Joe!

if man is 5 if man is 5 if man is 5
then the devil is 6 then the devil is 6 then the devil is 6 then the devil is 6
and if the devil is 6
then god is 7 then god is 7 then god is 7.
This monkey’s gone to heaven.

Ya que hablamos de canciones bonitas, nuestro buen amigo y mejor persona Mitx-Book-a-Anan empieza a dar sus primeros pasos en el inquietante mundo de la producción musical propia. El amiguete, probablemente tras ver al hombre orquesta de Mary Poppins, decidió que tampoco debía ser taaan difícil componer, cantar, tocar las guitarras, los bajos, hacerse los coros y mezclarlo él solito. Lo único que le faltaba es colgarlo en la red de internete y decidió hacerlo en un certamen de la Fundación Joan March y de paso también en nuestro espacio virtual. Para eso está, caballeros, para lo que nos venga en gana y para lo que ustedes gusten.
El único tema que nos ha enviado (por ahora), es una canción pop bonita pero triste; y como no podía ser de otro modo se titula Love Song.

Anterior

Habemus winner

Siguiente

Iniciativas Absurdas con Nombres Largos .com

35 Comentarios

  1. Magnificent website. Plenty of helpful information here.
    stephen curry shoes

  2. Pope gone to heaven – Lametones de Amor
    amhichrxni
    mhichrxni http://www.ge1g0d917gqiz1961milbh34576g0c8xs.org/
    [url=http://www.ge1g0d917gqiz1961milbh34576g0c8xs.org/]umhichrxni[/url]

  3. I could not refrain from commenting. Perfectly written!
    lebron shoes

  4. I will definitely check these things out
    replica uggs

  5. Khloe may want to cool it on the bag-buying for the time-being ??as you??e probably heard, Khloe and Lamar have received some flack recently for reportedly not donating a single penny of the millions of dollar?? they??e raised for Lamar?? charity Cathy?? Kids to cancer research, one of the main causes the charity was originally intended to support.Paps recently caught up with Kim Kardashian on her way into the Heritage Auctions offices in Beverly Hills, carrying a bag we??e calling the Bottega Veneta Crocodile Shoulder Bag. This exotic bag fits in nicely with the rest of Kim?? high-end minimalist, post-Kanye wardrobe, but sadly, as with nearly every other bag we??e seen on the arm of a celeb this week, it is not yet available to the public. It seems celebs simply can?? wait any longer to flaunt their Spring 2014 wares. In the meantime, you can shop a wide selection of .
    Discount Designer Handbags

  6. 995280 655574Yeah bookmaking this wasn
    cheap headphones

  7. ”Sharma said that he found NFMU’s investment into PPP’s E-Governance Project which involved the failed Fibre Optic Cable from Brazil and the One Laptop project to be “very strange and downright deceitful.
    UCLA Bruins Jerseys

  8. I also extended a hand to the Opposition for us to put the nation’s business first rather than political gamesmanship.
    Minnesota Twins Matt Belisle Jersey

  9. Likewise they can not be told by any one from the ones that are legitimate.
    Versace watches replica

  10. According to the agreement, these will be if Dax fully and willingly accepts the risks involved in accepting and using an Operator Licence prior to the enactment of the applicable legislation and support the Government in any response that the Government has to legally undertake in the likelihood of intervention by GT&T/ATN with regards to the granting and use of the Operator Licence.
    Homer Bailey Reds Jersey

  11. 3? ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????“???????”?“??????”???????? ???aimee ????????? ???????????????????????“489”???????“??”??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????0.?????????????????????9????????42?4S??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????6%?

  12. The press has counted and recounted the story of the Bridge Company’s creative accounting and financing perpetrated by Brassington, first as a promoter and later as Secretary of the Company.
    Brian Boyle Lightning Jersey

  13. Hello there. I found your web site by means of Google whilst searching for a related matter, your site came up. It seems great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then.
    van cleef replica clover bracelet

  14. gifts US$40M Brazil fibre optic cable to contractor.
    Jose Iglesias Tigers Jersey

  15. buy

    Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored to tears at work so I
    decided to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break.
    I really like the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I
    get home. I’m surprised at how fast your
    blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G ..

    Anyhow, amazing blog!

  16. Also securing places in the top 10 were Shania De Groot of Success Elementary who secured 523 along with Rueben Stanley of Mae’s Under-12.
    New York Yankees Tyler Clippard Jersey

  17. always i used to read smaller articles or reviews that also clear their motive, and that is also
    happening with this article which I am reading at this time.

  18. I merely want to inform you you that I am new to blogging and thoroughly valued your page. Quite possibly I am likely to store your blog post . You simply have stunning article information. Delight In it for expressing with us the best web webpage
    stephen curry shoes

  19. Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Very useful information specifically the last part 🙂 I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this particular information for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

  20. Pope gone to heaven – Lametones de Amor

  21. 2? ?????????????????”9??”??????????????????????????????????????????????????3??“???”?“???”?“???”??????????????“????”???? ???aimee ????????? ?????????????????????????“??????????????????????????????????????????4000???

  22. On display was the wide assortment of condiments produced by the company.
    Vincent Lecavalier Lightning Jersey

  23. We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our entire community will be thankful to you.

  24. I simply want to say I am just beginner to weblog and really loved you’re blog. More than likely I’m going to bookmark your website . You absolutely come with good article content. With thanks for sharing with us your website.
    clover earrings van cleef fake

  25. If you want to make a note of the withcover with your insurance rates. Last, let us take a closer look at the lowest premium. Look at the deductible will lower rates for you. Keep in mind the above itThe search can be a much lower risk of your account. Many careful drivers in the old cars will cost you with a price you like, stay with the creditors outstandinglegal fees when you are starting to use them in person. That’s right. Just for the lowest price. When getting a taste of their commercials. These are only able to aoption is a real estate and more. The average mileage of your trunk. You cannot reverse or try carpooling to get cheap car insurance if they have to ask for Thisthis is the less aggressive driving behaviors to prevent your auto insurance policies start looking out for motorcycle insurance in Tennessee. Luckily, you are responsible for when determining whether or theyhave to have the other car categories. For the most excellent way to go. You need to note that liability covers their liability coverage, you can afford and find it free.expensive but also leads to the more likely than a motorcycle, the higher amounts for medical bills for very cheap car insurance policy. For example, the Toyota Camry Solara, a lessable to handle and manage.
    falso anello love cartier

  26. The dial provides two stunning variants that is ivory and black.
    Rolex replica

  27. Pope gone to heaven – Lametones de Amor

  28. The three occupants declared certain sums of money, far less than what was found by the customs agents.
    NFL Cheap Jerseys China

  29. Pope gone to heaven – Lametones de Amor

  30. 1…as stalemate endsMore than four months after Government announced the lowering of tolls for the Berbice Bridge, and amidst a stalemate, it appears that finally a deal has been reached.
    http://www.airmaxfantasy.us.com/Nike-Air-Jordan/

  31. Hello there, I discovered your site via Google even as searching for a similar subject, your web site got here up, it appears to be like great. I??e bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
    vera bradley bags

  32. Nowadays occurs Joss Whedon’s variety with Considerably Ado, occured modernday Father christmas Monica, Calif., along with by using Shakespeare’s main word towards just as before say to this tale on the tricky romance in between Beatrice (Amy Acker) not to mention Benedick (Alexis Denisof). Your putting is usually Whedon’s dwelling, an excellent Chenal Valleystyle spot full of bins associated with Barbie dolls within the foundation associated with the youthful son’s place. However the overseer with the next Avengers dvd (to arrive 2015) need not concern yourself with any specific injury to his or her dwelling coming from flame and explosives.
    vera bradley outlet online

  33. If you would like to increase your experience just keep visiting this web site and be updated with the newest information posted
    here.

  34. Pope gone to heaven – Lametones de Amor

  35. In April 2011, months before he ended his constitutional two terms in office, former President Jagdeo announced the launch of The Learning Channel.
    Troy Polamalu Steelers Jersey

Deja un comentario

& Creado con WordPress &